Christmas day will be two years. Its been two years since I struggled to make Christmas dinner for my family, taking breaks often to put ice packs on my knees and a heating pad on my back. I was miserable. I was 43 years old and all I could think was my body is failing. But the truth was I had failed my body. As a wife of 20 years and a mom to three, I was use to being last. Everyone else’s needs came before mine. So healthy food preparation and my exercise needs always took a back seat to everything. And now it showed. At 241 lbs and a size 20, I was miserable. I couldn’t get out in my garden, rough house on the floor with my kids, go hiking and sailing with my family and countless other activities I use to be able to do. Everything hurt.
That was when I decided it was time to get to work. There was a teacher at my kids school who had amazing results doing CrossFit. She was my age and had several of the same distractions I was facing. If she could do it, I could do it. So as I sat in the school line one day I noticed a big black SUV with Hit CrossFit on the back window. I knocked on the window, introduced myself and started asking questions.
My first couple of classes were insane. I couldn’t even air squat and didn’t know any of the lingo they used. All I could think was “what on earth have I gotten myself into”. But there were several things that I absolutely loved about CrossFit. There were several other moms in class that started sharing their experiences and journeys and helped me with the lingo, the weights and cheered me on when I just knew I was dying. There were so many moves that I just physically couldn’t do (yet) but the coach gave me scaled down movements that over time helped me build strength to do the moves. It is like working out with a personal trainer every time.
Its been almost two years since I walked through those big bay doors into the crazy world of CrossFit. I am still the last to finish most days. But I do finish. I don’t and won’t give up. After all, I am worth it. I have so much more I want to do, so many things I want to accomplish. I’ve lost over 30lbs and two pants sizes in two years. Not a fast fix but that’s not what I am after. I want changes that become a way I live my life everyday. I’ve lost and gained weight and fitness level before. I always got bored or busy or just lazy. This time it’s just different. This crazy CrossFit box gives more coaching, more cheering, more comradery than any gym I’ve every been to. I’ve met some amazing people and made friendships that I cherish. I’m not 20-something anymore. I don’t look it and I don’t feel it. But that’s not to say that I can’t be the very best I can be for where I am right now.
I have a birthday coming up in January. My 46th. I don’t expect CrossFit to erase my mini crows feet or my stretch marks or make my knees and bad back new again. Its not a magic pill. For me, CrossFit is the hardest, sweatiest, toughest workout I’ve ever done. To say its been challenging is a gross understatement. I’m still slow as molasses and most days I want to write “I didn’t puke, pass out, or die” instead of my time but its an amazing place that is unlike anything else you’ve tried. I look forward to the next year on my journey. I look forward to finally nailing double unders and hand stand push ups. I look forward to running the mile loop without feeling like I’m fixin’ to meet Jesus. There’s so many things to look forward to. The only thing holding me back is me.
Hit CrossFit Member